the fact is. i know nothing about music besides worship music. what musical events have i been to recently? I don't remember. all i remember is playing for worship. all i remember is singing to him, singing songs, to Him. I seriously haven't done anything, let alone watch the tang quartet or catch jeremy monterio cos when i realised i wanted to watch it it was too late. what areyou doing. but then again, stop being so hard on yourself. it's just a silly questionaire i'm gonna flunk my way through because i simply don't know anything. gah this sucks.
i know God can do the impossible. and i don't exactly want to get to this uni actually, but i don't even know how to begin filling up the darn thing. cos most of my answers ARE blank. i will be an embarassment, i don't know so much about classical music. what the crap i don't know ludwig and i don't know mister bach and I DONT KNOW A LOT OF THINGS. my brain feels terribly empty. and i dont' know how to study music. i don't know how to study notes and what not. all my life i've studied, MUGGED subjects like geog lit bio math chem PHYSICSthebaneofmyexistence. what the crap am i doing. sorry i know i sound super sucky here and it seems like i'm making a fuss outta nothing but really. it IS a big deal. it's like studying bio all your life to only try to study lit in the end.
you know what i feel like i saying i hate chasing dreams. there i just said that. but no one said it would be easy. okay. nevermind, the outburst was the 'NON RATIONAL' outburst. but thinking and having God's peace in my heart tells me i'll just be honest and fill it whatever i can. If it sounds totally ridiculous and hilarious even that i know zilch about classical music, let it be. you can't blame me when i've never ever studied these things. and i shouldnt blame myself. stop being so hard on yourself stop being so hard on yourself.
shine your light
into the dark
i wanna know
who YOU ARE
Father, i am weak but thou art strong. Jesus you are my strength, my fortress. There's so many things swimming in my mind now. I'm thinking about my cousins, i'm thinking about my relatives. I'm thinking about the music. I'm thinking about the future. thinking about the songs i write. thikning about driving. thinking about. stop thinking. I know that You are in control. I know that you are my potter. You are my healer, You are my refuge. The author. THe perfector of life. You created life. You created ME. You created people, you didn't create achievements, you didn't create all the junk that we run after. I HAVE enough to serve you NOW. i HAVE things i can do for you now. I HAVE a heart. I have YOU. i have everything. YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING.
I praise You God, cos YOU ARE GOOD. and I LOVE YOU.
what can i do but thank you