FOR A NEW CELLO CASE. my cases are DYING. the other one's zip thing just BROKE OFF. then the old case (which was returned from my cousin) is TEARING APART. ok that was a self note.
anyhow, i've returned from the slow-paced country! sorry to those people who really just thot i disappeared into thin air, POOF! i have this really bad habit of not wanting to tell people i'm leaving the country (cos i'm thinking status updates on facebook will simply make me very stalk-able, and i thikn im' typing nonsense) BUT ehhhh for those i did mention, YES I AM BACK (:
these past two weekends have been wonderful, since YMLC to PERTH, have so many stories, so many things that i loved!
but now WHAM when i come back there's SO MANY THINGS to be done. again, what's new- the council bug never leaving me!
anyhow i wanted to blog about my feelings about NOT BEING IN A UNI YET. God really really assured me a lot in YMLC, and OKAY NOW I REFUSE THOSE FEELINGS OF INSECURITY AND DOUBT. i'm freeeee, i knew it right at ymlc, that i wanted to let it go, i wanted to leave it all to God and not feel more doubt each time i had to explain myself. but i didn't know it wouldn't be so easy. i thought that after that i'd be able to smile and be confident everyday about it, but no. i feel the doubt creeping towards my heart, waiting to tear it down again. But NO. NOT BY MY STRENGTH, BUT BY HIS.
it's not easy, really. it's now that i realise that surrendering isn't a one off thing. no wonder shiping made me raise my hands to God, cos it isn't only ONCE that i'll raise my hands in surrender, it's CONTINUOUSLY. and i have to surrender. again, and again. deep inside of me i know i'm still worrying about it sometimes, yet my spirit wants to let it go again. the constant battle, the battle that's won by Christ. YES SO I WILL LIVE victoriously, simply cos Christ has won my victory. I will give it all to you even when it means doing it again and again, every single breathing moment of my life.
It's crazy but i miss studying. OKAY FINE U CAN CALL ME NERD> HAHAHA im' in scone for that right :P I MISS MY CLASS :( and i didn't make it on sunday cos i JUST reached singapore. I MISS MADAGASCAR TIMES in the library, laughing and i don't know, just doing a lot of silly things. i miss my friends. I MISS THE LIFE OF SCHOOL. AND I WANT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOl. SO UNIS, HURRY AND REPLY ME. IF it's a YES, just say yes quickly and if it's a no, just say it quick. i'm fine with the result, but at least i'd know where i'm going.
but you're not lost
yeah so if i'm not lost, why do i act like i am?! why do i seem to THINK i am? maybe it's cos it's dark. but i'm holding Your hand, right? maybe it's cos the future's always scary. maybe it's cos, i'm afraid. i'm just a child, and will always be, Your child.
but the Lord has told me all that, i'm not lost. I should just be like hansel and gretel, (but the reverse), following the breadcrumbs dropped STEP BY STEP. i shall do what You want me to do NOW, and let the future pick me up like the wind carries the eagle when it's time. but let me flap as hard as I can, if i must, just to wait for the wind current to take me up high.
cos we were meant to fly, but walking made us not see what it's like when you're up high.
on another note, I AM PROBABLY STARTING A NEW BLOG. this HORSEFANTASY thing AHHAHAH has been far too old, mind you that's why it's called horsefantasy, a very kiddy name, HAHAHA but i like horses ok. but anyhow, will seeee how the other blog goes (: if this is what i can do for Him toooo :)
gotta rush off!
shern