Time after time you’ve been left behind
like the sun when it’s starting to rain
Time after time you’ve been forgotten
like a picture that’s faded with age
Time after time you ran after me
when I was still running away

You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak you are strong
You told me I still belong
No, you never, never give up on me

Time after time I’ve used your grace
as a way to do what I please
I’ve taken for granted prayers that you answered
never been all I could be
You are holding out your hands
and now I clearly see

You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages, Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am

Never give up, never give up on me

HOKAYS. no one really sees me angry, yeah true. cos i don't get angry i just get frustrated or hurt or BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! and i'd feel like screaming into pple's faces. and i probably only get angry at really serious stuff like if pple are cheating their friends.

all this talk about imagined worlds makes me miss my escapism. i miss choir. i miss being in ALTERNATE REALITY and not really caring what the world thinks or what the world is doing. like, me and my crescendo or something. but then you hold back your dreams. i feel like a little girl, holding my dreams in a pouch and feeling too afraid to let it out.

it's like i believe there's a pretty rainbow inside but no one believes me. everyone says it's crap, how can a rainbow fit inside a ridiculous looking brown pouch! like get real, WAKE UP YOUR IDEA MAN. but. i can't. i can't. i'm stuck in that belief that there REALLY IS A RAINBOW! isn't there, daddy? isn't there something else? i'm tired, daddy, i'm sick of it, daddy.

outside i'm smiling, but inside i'm crying. yeah yeah yeah, OTHER PEOPLE have so much more to cry about, OTHER PEOPLE have tough lives, i have it easy, i'm so blessed, I CANNOT CRY. I CANNOT AFFORD TO BE UNHAPPY.

yeah. make me become a toy machine that let's little kids ride on them then you tell me that. that perpetual smile on that plastic face. and no i'm not becoming a malcontent. i'm just. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHH a bit.

yes. no one else matters but You in this world.

yet why don't i dare. i don't know. my mind feels like a whirlpool of thoughts circling and repeating itself.

on a lighter note, i had the most bizarre dream last night, and i can't help feeling tickled by the thought of it, plus that i allowed the dream to continue to part2 after i woke in the middle of it. hilariously it DID continue.

i know i hate to feel cheated. everyone does. and feeling cheated has a certain bit of, disappointment. everyone hates to be disappointed. or takenaback. i dislike knowing too much too, or sensing so much. i dislike judging others, and i hate it when i do it. and i cant' stand it how it brutalises cos the other cannot see it. so i'm the badguy, and you're the good guy.

yeah or sensing isnt' good either. whatever,. i'm going to go out there and kill them with my lit essays and then i'll go have my on freedom, WELL DESERVED COS I DID STUDY DAMN HARD. and i know mrs chang doesn't like the word, but i dont' usually say it all, but for the record, i mean it so much i have to make it so jarring that it's painful.

you control your own feelings. so what others do to you can't harm you unless you let it. HA! difficult. ho well. i can be little miss sunshine, but NO, i can't be little miss sunshine, THE PLUSH TOY. HUMAN I AM, A TOOL AM NOT.

ok looks like too much clockwork orange for me. it's nine fourteen. adios!