when life throws you lemons, MAKE LEMONADE!(:
hahah i slept today. first on the table, then i decided to sleep on the bed. AHAHA:D
today wasn't the best, but you can't expect every day to be the best so it's okay! i'm still really thankful for many things. thankful for CF morning worship, for friends, for SCONE (:, for councillors and for many others, churchies, sa and TWIN! (:
i don't really have a lot to say today, unlike many days, but it's strange how the things you tell people to do or advice you've given before actually applies to yourself. and before you know it, you make the same mistakes you warned others about. such is human!
i must say april fools went quite well, and i was quite amused myself (: today and tmr's council matters, sooo i hope tmr there's more people coming :D
some things in life u have to NOT take very seriously, u take it lightly and things'll be better. if i took everything so seriously and thought so much, i'd be a very sad person today and constantly worried. but thank GOd i'm not.
today i discovered the highly introverted side of me (not that i didn't know), but i ended up playing the guitar and feeling like the world fazed out and it was just music, GOd and me. aahaha but yeah it was good. cos people think you're practising an ART, so you have an excuse to be antisocial. but yes, i realise it's a great release of emotion, words, feelings that can't be expressed or shouldn't be expressed. use music to talk.
this is what it means to be HELD
yeah. held by the hand of God (: i dont' know what i'm feeling now, but i guess You know better, God. maybe fear is dreading that your plan overrides my plans. but isn't that not trusting you enough? isn't faith just the opposite of what we know?
when everything fell, we'd be HELD
i'm wondering where i am now. i'm lost for words, lost for anything. in all honesty, everythign i said, about not being afraid and knowing that God equips the willing and doesn't call the equipped, i believe it's true, but i didn't fully believe it in my life.
so
'not good enough' still passes thru my life, but it's silly. i'll NEVER be good enough, but GOd's not asking for that. He's asking for you to be willing, for you to be willing to let Him use you. oh foolish foolish one. can't you have faith greater so you can trust Him? to trust His heart? to know that whatever happens, He never fails? to know that if friends may leave, they come and go, this i know, YOU WILL BE FAITHFUL
yet, ME of little faith, won't you just believe that?
this is what it is to be loved
but WHY? why this, why that? WHY. what did i ever DO wrong. or what did i ever BE wrong. or is it really the very existence. yeah i shld stop thinking it's my fault like i always do, but it sucks seriously. it SUCKS big time.
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
shern