i want people who read my blog to know that i'm a girl who loves the Lord more than anything else.
that's what i want. that's all i want. all i want is for my life to matter for Jesus.
if you don't know who i am personally, and if you come across this blog. i want you to take away one thing-
you don't need to know me personally, but you need to know my God personally because HE's all you need to survive in this world. He's everything you need and all you need.
i want my life to spell out "JESUS" and i want everything to do to paint His love. even in my tears i want them to be tears that leave the tearmark of the Saviour's love. of complete brokeness and purity.
i want to live a life that matters. i want to make my life matter. and i want to be a beacon of light, to guide the way of others. i want to spread the love of Christ, i want to tell them of how much HE loves us. yet how much we hate him and hurt him.
i admit i'm a broken christian. i admit that i have tried to handle things myself just because i felt unworhty to speak to him, or just because i gave up on listening to him, just because for some brief moments, i had lost the faith and trust that He was always there. i take my bible, i take my daily bread and i read. yet i can't find words to pray because i don't know what to say. i know part of me was angry that GOd forsaked me, but part of me tells me that i'm wrong, that GOd never forsaked or forsakes me, and i feel upset with myself for even holding such a grudge against the innocent Jesus. So basically it becomes an internal struggle that tears me apart because of my rebellion against God. it really sucks i tell you. to rebel against GOd just because your emotions cause you to. and you feel like you're going against the current, fighting the current, whihc is your very emotions surging towards you.
it's frightening.
yeah and i guess after searching online a bit, i read some people's blogs and stuff, and i decided that if i was some kaypoh person(like me) who randomly surfs blogs of people i've heard of but doni't really know personaly, then i want people to randomly bump into my blog and feel the inner sense of peace and fullness that through all my struggles, Jesus still reigns supreme.
i still say.
NO me. Know Jesus
shern
it's a coincidence isn't it.