thank YOU GOD (: for helping me realise things!
beeeen SOOOOOOOOOO busy w all these practices, this week was like, official PRACTICE week or smthing. no joke, i suddenly wanted to conclude today that i like classical music cos it's not so loud and ;alksjdfa;kdfja;sldkfj many noises to hear. but i think tt's just a bad excuse. ahhahah
anyhow i was sharing w my worship team tt i actually didn't feel ready to lead worship at youth this week, and i still felt very blah when we had practice and everything. thank you MINYI (i know u read!) for being there for me when i just BLAH-ed up and for really kinda capturing what i felt in what you said.. really comforted me too and encouraged me! I guess it was true, i really was just under a lot of stress and pressure. think it always happens, i just push myself too far until i erupt like a volcano. haaha.
snooze prac, then prac cello theory, wedding prac, sunday service worship prac, youthphoria worship.. i thikn it was too much for me to handle! it's like, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! AND to make matters worse, i was giving myself unnecessary pressure about the technicalities. what's worship!? not about that at all.
i believe i really did worship God anyhow, and because i know i reached God, or more aptly, God reached in and touched me again. like, SEEE- that's all i want, your simple worship. it doesn't have to be so hard.
i realised i have this BAD tendency to base my decisions and my 'standard' for what is RIGHT/GOOD vs BAD from other people or what others have done. BUT NOT ANYMORE, i'm going to only please GOD and strive to PLEASE HIM ALONE and not anyone else.
who says when we sound like some hillsong band, we've done a good job at leading worship? who says i'm a good worship leader if i really plan out a wonderful flow of worship? who says? i know God says He loves us even if we mess up. i know God says YOU ARE ENOUGH even when we cry in the middle of a worship set. i know, cos i've been there. i know taht worship isn't about me. i know that worship isn't about the music. i know that worship ISN"T about getting people singing. i know worship isn't about people giving good comments at the debrief. worship isn't about ANY OF THESE.
worship's about YOU
yes. i think i've been trying too hard to give the 'seasoned ones' opportunities to rock it out and hv fun, and the newbies to play, and to also challenge the 'we always sing slow songs' thing. but no, i don't want to try anymore. what's wrong with that? nothing. cos worship's about YOU, not about these people either.. and they've gotta learn it, like it or not (: and THAT's the right thing to do. not to please man, but to please God.
YEEEEHA!
cos i loveeeee YOU GOD :)
shern